Friday, November 13, 2009
The mountain peak seems like it goes on forever. Its freezing cold. We make camp every night before the sun goes down so that we have a fire and blankets ready. With out fire we would all be dead. There is no such thing as a hot meal. As soon as it leaves the fire it gets cold. During the day everyone is frozen from head to toe. The only thing that keeps us from freezing is walking. We killed the horses a long time ago. Their meat will stay good in this extreme cold. Everyone has a partner they have to hug all night to keep warm. I chose Kyra. Not just because I love her but I need to keep her safe. With out her there is no point. We are in our sleeping bundles three hours after sunset. Tonight has to be the coldest night yet. Kyra falls asleep quickly in my arms. This journey is taking a large toll on her. It kills me to see her struggle. It takes me longer to fall asleep. I have so much to think about. I finally fall asleep. I dream I'm there. In front of Him. Sword drawn. He is unarmed but that doesn't last long. He reaches behind the wall and pulls out a large sword. We fight evenly matched for hours. Finally we've both lost our swords. I've wounded his leg. He falls to floor and I jump on him unsheathing my dagger in the process. This is it. The moment I have been waiting for. I slide my dagger across his throat. Not deep enough to kill him. I want to see him suffer in pain. I awake to her scream. I'm on top of Kyra. She has a small gash in her throat. How could I do this? How could I hurt her? I love her. She is forgiving. She awoke from my yelling and screaming. She knew I was dreaming. She didn't dare leave me for fear of freezing. I will never forgive myself. I won't sleep the rest of the journey. The whole camp is awake. Everyone is looking at me in unbelief. They see how much I care for and protect her. They can't believe I was capable of hurting her. I'm a threat to everyone I'm around. Kyra will need to sleep with someone else. A girl of course. I will sleep alone and away from the group. I can't put anyone in danger. I can't put Kyra in any danger.